8 men and 1 penguin walk into the Trump elevator: nothing can go wrong
by Fizz the Great
Summary: There's always stories about how people from different fandoms get stuck in a room or elevator. But my question is, how did they end up in there the first place? Captain Jack Sparrow, Loki, Gunter (penguin), Sherlock, the Doctor, Han Solo, James T. Kirk, Coulson, and Tony Stark, 8 men and a penguin walk in the Trump elevator. Of course, nothing happens. Until the elevator breaks.
1. Floor 32

Loki of Asgard is currently waiting for the elevator. He wants to go to that fast food restaurant he saw on his way in, called McDonalds or something, and buy some french fries. According to Tony, it was the 'best stuff' in the world and he should definitely try some. Plus it will be a bonus if he manages to make everyone kneel before him while he eats. He wasn't sure why humans use elevators, however they are quite useful in ways that Loki can't put a finger to. Beautiful metal doors sliding open, and then the air conditioned room, blank, clean, perfect. He wasn't sure why he was staying here in the first place, but he knew he was in some place called the 'Trump International Hotel' or something. Rogers booked a room for him to stay till Thor comes back to pick him up. The irony of all this.

The door up front opens. However instead of clean blank space that he expected, another spectacle came to view. Loki raises both of his eyebrows. A man wearing a ridiculous outfit stands there, fingering his rusty gun hooked to his side.

"Aye there mate," he says, looking up. Loki shrinks back when he sees the man's outrageous layers of makeup around his eyes.

"Uh… hey," he replies warily, a dozen ideas running through his mind. Since when were there mortals like him? This man is clearly insane, if not, definitely from another planet or so. He was still contemplating whether to go in or not when the door starts to close.

"Whoa!" The man yells, sticking his hand past so the door retracts again. "You coming in or not?" He makes a jerking motion at the room he's standing in.

Loki hesitates for a moment, running the odds in his head. He can choose A, skip the elevator and walk 32 flights or B, ride the elevator with this crazy man yet save a lot of time and effort.

"Uh, yes, yes, I'm going on," he quickly says and steps in elevator. A mad grin lights up on the strange man's face, his white and blacked teeth showing as he smiles broadly at him.

"Captain Jack Sparrow," Makeup man says. "Wanna see ma jar of dirt?"

Before Loki can change his mind, the door of the elevator slid shut. Please Odin don't let me die here, Loki thinks desperately. The elevator begins to go down. And then the door opens, again.

 **Reviews are welcomed. The only reason Captain Jack Sparrow is already in the elevator is because he is awesome and magical. Next one, will still be in Loki's point of view since Gunter's point of view would just be: what are these people I like green dude's cow horns.**


	2. Floor 30

Makeup man/Jack something Captain pulls a face of instant, 'crap all this I'm getting outta here' face. The metal door slowly creeps opens, like the doors of Heaven, showing what was beyond the golden walls of the elevator. Finally, the doors were released, revealing a… penguin?

Loki stares awkwardly at the penguin standing outside, cute bulging eyes blinking back at him. Jack Captain freezes in his tracks. The penguin blinks at him, then turns its head to face Loki.

Loki gulps.

Time seems to stop. The air stills. No one draws a single breath. Until…

"Wenk,"

Loki's snaps his eyes back at the penguin. The penguin cocks its head at him.

"Wenk," it repeats.

"Uh…what?" Loki finally says. The penguin gazes at him with those large big dopey eyes. And to his terrifying astonishment, the penguin, jumps on him. The freaking cute-dumb penguin just jumped on him. Literally pounced. Like a cat.

"Whaaa-" Loki yells. The penguin grabs on Loki's cow-like helmet and hangs there, refusing to release.

"Get off me!" He tries to bat the penguin away. The penguin stubbornly holds on. "Get… off…!" Loki spits again. Gunter did not loosen his grip.

"Comeon, Jack, Sparrow, help! Get this mewling quim off me! Help, I'm being attacked!"

The Captain snaps out of his trance and races to grab Gunter. He begins to pull.

"Come…on!" Jack grasps Gunter's butt hard and pulls. Gunter remains like the obnoxious penguin he was. Sparrow digs his fingers in the rubbery penguin's pelt and pulls again. Gunter lets out a bought of strangled wenks.

None of them realizes the door of the elevator has closed. And most of all, none of them have realized, the number on the elevator wall has already changed to 26, and door was already starting to open.

 **Hey guys, Izzy here. Thanks for those who reviewed, followed, and favorited! The next one will be... Sherlock Holmes. Already feel bad for him. Think of what he will see!**


	3. Floor 26

The only reason Sherlock Holmes is in the Trump International Hotel is because of a Moriarty's web. Not because he lives there. Simply just to kill a man. He was just about to get down and presumably fly to Syria or somewhere when the set of elevators door opens. He excepted to see three people, judging by the amount of stops but he did not except to see this.

Sherlock stands in the open space, mouth hanging open, cellphone holding loosely in his hand, as he watches a pirate guy grab the penguin's butt while the penguin tries in vain to hold on to a golden cow-like helmet. His mind goes blank.

"Uh… what?" he manages to articulate. The three figures in the elevator freezes. Four entire seconds pass as Sherlock tries to deduce what is going on. Penguin likes helmet, why in the world is that man wearing a helmet, why in the world is the other man wearing makeup… He would have dropped his phone if it wasn't till the door starts to close. Remembering what he is here for, he quickly puts on an apathetic expression and stalks in.

"Pirate, lost your ship, not a lot of money judging by poorly assemble gun you have at your right side, compass in your pocket is obviously broken with the large crack at the side, at what seems like… a jar of dirt, in your pockets?" Sherlock knits his eyebrows together, wondering why he just said something so trivial. He turns to the demigod in the corner.

"Loki, god of mischief and tricks, you tried to take over New York but sadly, failed, jealous of your older brother, emotionally unstable," he mutters.

Loki frowns. "Why am I the emotionally unstable one?" He protests. Sherlock ignores him. Instead, he turns the rest of his attention to the penguin still clinging on the cow horns Loki had on his head.

"And um…" question marks appears all around the round rubber-like penguin in front of him. The others must not know that he cannot pronounc-

"It's a penguin," the pirate offers, nodding to Gunter's butt.

Sherlock snaps out of his trance. "Er, yes, right, that," he quickly says, face turning into a light shade of red.

Okay, penguins, penguins, penguins, not pengwings, penguins, he reminds himself.

The doors of the elevator begins to close again. Sherlock shuffles to the corner where the numbers were then stays there and pulls out his phone. The elevator embarks to descend.

Three things happen at once. Jack lets go out Gunter's butt. The penguin lets out a happy wenk before hugging tightly to Loki's helmet, earning a deeply annoyed look from the demigod himself. And then the elevator stops.

Jack pulls a face of instant, 'crap all this why didn't I get out when I had the chance' face and starts to make weird moaning noises. The doors slides open. Loki lets out another groan. Standing in front of them, is the Doctor, screwdriver held aloft in his hand, with the most ridiculous grin paste on his face.

"What's with all the unpleasant faces?" He asks.

 **Hey guys, Izzy here. I have nothing to say except I can't wait for Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Questions please send me a message or review. Thanks.**


	4. Floor 21

The Doctor grins at Loki's frowning face, Jack's 'crap this all face' and Sherlock's ever so bored face.

"Hey, what's with all the unpleasant faces?" He asks, spreading his arms wide.

"You're that weird bow tie guy that ruined my ship," the pirate finally says, standing up from his leaning place. "You ruined my ship bow tie man, I wasn't very happy you know," he pulls out his gun, causing the Doctor's face to freeze in a most particular way.

"Wh-what are you going to do?" The Doctor holds out his hands.

"Get outta my way mate, I'm getting off this up and down ship," he announces, waving his rusted gun like a trophy. The Doctor slides to the side so that the captain can waltz out freely. "Goodbye mates, goodbye penguin!" He says, flapping out a ringed hand. Gunter emits a wenk in return. The Doctor snaps his head at the sound, just realizing that there was a penguin.

"Whoa, there's a-"

"Yeah I know shut up Doctor," Loki grumbles.

They watch as Jack swing his arms back and forth as he walks towards the woman's bathroom.

"Should I tell him that he's going the wrong way?" The Doctor whispers. The scream coming from down the hallway already answered his question.

"Oh well," Sherlock smiles.

"So…why… are _you_ here?" Loki begins, ignoring Sherlock's snide remark.

The curved smile immediately drops into a bridge. "Why I was here to get my special straw!" He says, holding his straw out.

Loki blinks at him for a few seconds, hand still on the open button.

"Uh… can I come in?" The Doctor asks awkwardly after several seconds.

The detective still curled at the elevator corner rolls his eyes then lets out an exasperated sigh. "Just come in, you don't need to ask," he groans. "Now get on with it, Loki, you can take your hand off the open button now,"

Loki looks down at his hand, wondering why it was still there. "Oh, yeah, sorry. Wait why am I apologizing to you? You should be kneeling before me!" He suddenly realizes, adding up to the fact that he is the tallest person in the room now.

Sherlock does his trademark eye roll again. "Not again Loki, Doctor please calm down his temper tantrum,"

The Doctor looks even lost himself. "Uh…temper tantrum?" He says. Sherlock shoots him a death glare, melting the alien right down to his shoes. "Yeah, right right, Loki please calm down before you, oh I dunno, before break the elevator or something,"

Loki fumes at him, eyes even more blazing than Sherlock's. "Kneel before me!" He commands. It would have been very convincing for the confused Timelord if it wasn't for the penguin that was still hanging on to the demigod's helmet.

"Uh…"

"I said Kneel!" Loki shouts, putting all his manliness in the word. He points to the ground. And then the door behind the Doctor opens.

In the corner, Sherlock groans.

 **Hey guys, Izzy here. For your information, there will be lots of groans here and there. The elevator is** **surprisingly not broken yet!**

 **Music Playlist: A Whole New World, Welcome to Jurassic World, Waving Flag, Meltdown the Seven Seas, TWICE like OOH AHH**


End file.
